She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize