I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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