What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Randomize
