I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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