Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
