Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
