hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
