Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
