god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
