I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
