i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
