the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
