Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
