She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I can't turn off my feet"
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
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