if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize