Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
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