i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize