How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
OPIZZABONMYDICK
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
