ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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