:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
