i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
