I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
