my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Im part way to drunk.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
