also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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