Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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