I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
