I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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