Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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