South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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