I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
