her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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