gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Can vaginas get frostbite?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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