end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
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