after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
