I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
