Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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