guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
