Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I showed him my bush... on skype.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
