I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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