Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
