What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
