Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
