I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
