My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize