since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
cat food counts as protein by the way
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize