Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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