So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
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