yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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