You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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