I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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