But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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