so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
