I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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