I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
