i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I think my fart just growled at me.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
