dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
