Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
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