Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
