Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
