we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
