I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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