Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Houston, we have a squirter
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
