At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Randomize
