no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
