We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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