Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
