Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
