And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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