Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
