Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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