Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
We were destined to go to rehab together
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
