my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
