Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
